My New Covenant Vow

This is something the Holy Spirit led me to work on last week. I used Tuesday morning, when I didn't go into UGM, to "research"/"write" it. Maybe some other time I will write the story of what led up to doing this...but for now I just want to share it with you. It turned out differently than I initially thought it would - but I like it better this way.

In the name of the Triune God, because of who HE is, and by His leading.

The Theological Foundation of My Identity

v  I declare that I am God’s creation, made by Him in His image for His purposes and glory, and so that I may enjoy Him forever in eternally present/future relationship. {Gen. 1:26; Phil. 1:19-23}

v  I am fearfully and wonderfully made; all the days fashioned for me are God’s marvelous work in and through my life; and that my soul knows very well. {Psalm 139:14-15}

v  Jesus Christ is the Son of God and He is the loving Redeemer of my soul; for the joy set before Him and for God’s glory as well as my good, He bore the punishment of my sin on the cross. {Heb. 12:2}

v  I was dead in my trespasses and sins, unable to do anything to resurrect or save myself; God made me alive and saved me by His grace, totally undeserved by me. {Eph. 2:4-5}

v  In Christ, I am God’s beloved adoptive daughter, a child of the Most High King of heaven; I am a co-heir with Christ through suffering with Him. {Rom. 8:15-17}

v  God lavishes His unconditional grace & love on me, moment by moment and day by day {Eph. 1:7-8; 1 John 4:10}

v  It is God who works in me both to will and to do for His good pleasure; but I also have the responsibility of working out my own salvation. {Phil. 2:12-13}

v  Christ’s resurrection power is what is working towards me, within me, and what should be flowing out of me. {Eph. 1:19-20; Phil. 3:10}

v  I carry the treasure of the knowledge of God in Christ as a mere earthen vessel.
{2 Cor. 4:6-7}

v  Paraclete, the Counselor and Spirit of Truth, abides in me forever and reminds me of what Jesus taught; He is the guarantee of my inheritance. {John 14:16-17, 26; Eph. 1:13-14}

v  I am not sufficient in myself; nothing good comes from myself but rather from God; He has made me sufficient and makes me a minister of the new covenant of life in the Spirit.
{2 Cor. 3:5-6}

The Practical Application Points as a Result:

v  Jesus calls me to abide in His unconditional love, and to extend that love to others—laying down my life for them—as well as to myself. {John 15:9-13}

v  Jesus calls me to daily take up my cross and follow Him; to save my life by losing it for His sake {Luke 9:23-25}

v  God calls me to submit to Him as clay does to the potter’s hands. {Rom. 9:20-21}

v  I am called to recognize and worship the holy sovereignty of God, and to repent before Him when I find myself questioning His purposes. {Job 42:5-6}

v  Jesus calls me to come to Him when I am heavy laden by the burden I bear; to take His light and easy yoke in its place; to find rest in Him; to learn from Him. {Matt. 11:28-30}

v  I am called to follow in Jesus’ example, humbling myself and taking the form of a bondservant. {Phil 2:4-8}

v  As Jesus spent hours in solitude and prayer with His heavenly Father to balance out intense times of ministry, so should I. {Matt. 14:23}

v  I should follow Jesus’ example in crying out to God for strength during challenging times and in asking those close to me to pray with/for me. {Matt. 26:38ff}

v  I am called to daily practice authenticity as I intentionally put off the old Esther and put on the new Esther, being renewed by God in holiness & righteousness. {Eph. 4:22-24}

v  It is okay and needed to sometimes pull back, say no, and practice spiritual self-care. {Luke 5:15-16}

v  I am not yet perfected; but I am called to forget the things which are behind and press on toward the prize in Christ; knowing He will continue His work until He returns! {Phil 3:12-14; 1:6}

v  I am called to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God. {Micah 6:8}

v  I am called to cast all my cares upon God; to humble myself under His mighty hand; to let Him be the one to exalt me in due time. {1 Pet. 5:6-7}

v  Jesus calls me to rest in the sufficiency of His grace and strength, especially in my weaknesses; to boast and even take pleasure in my shortcomings. {2 Cor. 12:9-10}

v  I am called to be a member of the body of Christ—suffering and rejoicing with my brothers and sisters in Christ (and letting them do the same with me), as well as using my gifts to minister alongside them. {1 Cor. 12:12-31}

v  I am called to live in community – bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to maintain the unity in the Spirit. {Eph. 4:1-6}

v  I am called to confess my sins to my fellow believers, that we may pray for one another and be healed. {James 5:16}

I commit to these things in the name of Abba, Jesus, and Paraclete. Amen.

HO Week 6 (9/30) - Calling

The Audience of One

Bucking the crowd. Marching to the beat of a different drum. Swimming upstream. These are metaphors I find myself identifying with on a regular basis. I’m not an average American 21-year-old (after all, I only joined the 21 club last Sunday). I wasn’t a typical high school teenager either. In Rising to the Call, Os Guinness encourages Christians to live and perform for an audience of one. So I’m on the right track, right?

Wrong. At least, not necessarily right. There are many audiences that the world encourages us to try to please. But the one I want to focus on here is the deceptive audience of one: myself. It’s fairly easy for me to be a maverick and proud of it. However, doing my own thing for the sake of doing my own thing isn’t where I want to be—because if I’m doing my own thing, my focus is off.

The audience of one is not me. The Audience of One is God.

Read that again, Esther. Read it again. {Big sigh} It’s not too difficult for me to do what I want to do, regardless of what other people are doing. What is much more challenging is doing what God wants me to do, regardless of what I want to do. Here I am, back to the same place God keeps bringing me this month: SURRENDER.

I may think I have my life all figured out. But at the end of the day, I am not my most important audience. God is. And when someday the curtain closes on the story of my life, I don’t want my own applause to be the only sound I hear. If there’s only one person clapping, that’s just fine…so long as that person is my Heavenly Father – the true Audience of One.

HO Week 5 (9/23) - Calling

Service vs. Devotion

“Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ. The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him….The one aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him.” ~~~Oswald Chambers

When I read this quote in Os Guinness’ “Rising to the Call” a lightbulb went off in my head unlike either of the other two times I’ve read the book. This quote is applicable to me because it’s a huge temptation of mine to easily get so carried away “serving God” that I have no time simply to be His as my room mate says.

This really dawned on me for the first time last January, I think on one of the days Jill Briscoe came to speak in chapel. Standing there singing, it suddenly dawned on me that there is never never anything I can do to earn my salvation. I shouldn’t try to earn God’s love, because it is a free gift! Everything I do should be a response of love and thankfulness, but not out of a sense of indebtedness. God doesn’t want my good deeds. He wants ME!

It’s super easy for us as college students to get caught up and to busy serving God. It goes back to that article “Human Flourishing” we read the first week. In fact, this issue is my biggest disagreement with that article. There are so many good opportunities for us to serve – especially at a Christian college like JBU. But our number one goal is to be fully Christ’s. We shouldn’t assume our good deeds earn our favor with God when what He’s really looking for is our hearts, yielded to Him.

HO Week 4 (9/16) - Calling

The Story of My Life

Anabel stared up at the mountain peak, just one of a whole range stretching as far as she could see. For days, this view had been on her horizon—threatening her goal by blocking her path. It was as though the mountains knew exactly what she wanted and were laughing at their ability to keep her from attaining it. How long ago had she started on this journey? The weeks and months of toil were blending together…and now suddenly it seemed to be at an end, here at the foot of an insurmountable obstacle.

Each one of us has ambitions. Each has a journey which has brought us to where we now stand. But we rarely see our lives like we see stories. Stories have meaning in every moment—there is rarely a wasted scene in a book or a movie. Thus, we look at our day-to-day existence and think it’s boring. This is the idea Donald Miller wrote A Million Miles in a Thousand Years to combat.

At the risk of sounding “over-saved,” I can honestly say that my main pursuit in life at this moment is to live the life God would have me to live. I know that the best life I could ever live is the one God has planned out for me. He has been reminding me all year that I can trust Him. Sure, I have ideas of the things I would like to do. But if they’re not in God’s plan, He’s teaching me that I can lay them down on the altar. He is my Master, I am His slave.

My life is a conglomeration of many typical story plots…and some which are very unusual. I’ve been impacted by the “good kid from a Christian family” story – the “homeschooled” story – the “love nature & the outdoors” story – the “mid-income, non-extravagant lifestyle” story. Those don’t make me too unique…but then there’s the “I lived in China with my family for seven months when I was in 6^th grade” story. While it was a long time ago…while I was rather young…while I don’t think about it every day…still, this story has had a huge impact on me. God uses all of the stories He has written into each person’s life to create a book that is beautiful, special, and unique. I can trust Him, knowing that each piece of the puzzle that is “me” fits together to create a picture of the “me” He has had in mind from eternity past.

HO Week 2 (9/2) - Human Flourishing

What is True Success?

The school year has started up again, and with it comes another semester of mentoring for Honors Orientation! Here's my blog post responding to the first article for that class.....

College students are busy people—super busy. I’ve been told “College is such a great time of life, you should take advantage of it and experience everything you can!” However, juggling too many balls can result in a feeling of being completely overwhelmed. The arms flail, the balls fall out of control and scatter.

We aren’t supposed to be in control of our lives. Part of the Fall was choosing to believe we know better than God, so the flesh will always struggle to convince us to take things into our own hands. When we yield to the quest for worldly success, we enter into an unending cycle of trying to claim to the top of an ever-extending ladder.

Danielle Sallade says basically the same in her article “Human Flourishing.” She says our work is to be centered on service to Christ and others rather than our achievements. While I agree with her, it’s important for us to also realize that it is just as easy to run ourselves ragged by participating in too much. If I try to serve in every capacity, I will feel just as exhausted as someone constantly striving for human success.

The danger of over-serving is not something Sallade really addressed in her essay. That is what I often find myself caught in. I love helping people. But I am not called to fill every need of each person. That’s Christ’s role, not mine! Sallade does talk about how we should look at our gifts and see how we can best use those in Christ’s service. We are to offer our abilities up to Him, to use as He desires to accomplish His plan. Searching out the will of God and trusting Him is the only way to find true satisfaction in life—not trying to gain all the secular or Christian accolades for being a “successful” person.

{If you're interested in reading more, this is simply the abridged, HO-sanctioned (ie, closer to 250 words) version of a post on Thrive80, where I am a contributor. You can see it "here"}

HO Week 5 (9/24) - Calling

What Do My Friends Say?

Last fall I sent a short survey to two of my girlfriends, my mom, and two women who have basically mentored me. I asked them what I was passionate about, what I was good at, and what they could see me doing/being in ten years. Their answers encouraged me, though I found some a bit surprising.

I wasn't surprised by the answers to the first question. All five mentioned my relationship with God as my primary passion, which is most certainly true.

Both of my girlfriends said I am good at listening to other people, which I found encouraging. Three people mentioned my communication skills (particularly writing) and my organizational skills. Both of those are things which I enjoy doing.

It was quite interesting to read the answers to the third question. Four of the people said they could see me as a wife/mother homeschooling my children. This is what I most want to do. I was rather surprised that two of the people said they could see me as a missionary. I wanted to be a missionary when I was little, but I hadn't thought about it in quite a while. Three of the people said they could see me as a teacher - something I hadn't really thought about beyond homeschooling my own children. The more I think about it, though, the more it does seem likely. I wouldn't teach at a public school (because I'm not getting a teaching degree), but I can certainly see myself teaching at a co-op someday. Some other ideas were that I might be an administrative assisstant or be writing articles using my journalism degree (perhaps involved in politics). I would love to do either of those things.

HO Week 4 (9/17) - Calling

My Natural Strengths

In this week's posts, students are to compare their spiritual gifts with their strengths (based on the StrengthsQuest survey). So as a refresher: my top spiritual gifts are Faith, Serving, and Leadership/Administration or Pastoring/Shepherding. My top five strengths (from when I took the test for Gateway last fall) are Belief, Responsibility, Discipline, Intellection, and Connectedness.

Belief obviously ties into Faith. This is one that I hadn't really thought about/recognized in myself until I did these tests. I think it's because my beliefs and faith are such a part of me that I don't think that's unusual. I feel as though all Christians should care that much about their beliefs. The down side to this is that I can tend to be very set in my ways, even in minor things, because I take my beliefs so seriously. Intellection probably goes along with Faith as well. I have strong beliefs, but I want to know why I believe those things as well. I want it to be grounded in reason, not "just because."

Responsibility and Discipline go along with Leadership/Administration and probably with Serving too. An example is the work I did the last two years of high school. I had a class with the same teacher for three years, and after the first year she asked me to be her assistant, probably because of the discipline I had exhibited in class. Ever since then, I have been her administrative assistant of sorts, helping her each summer get things set up for the new school year. This ties together all four of the things listed above - and I love doing it!

When I took the StrengthsQuest, I was most surprised by "Connectedness." I was a little worried about it too, because it sounded almost New Age-ish. I have come to realize that I do look for connections in things though. I feel like this might go along with the Shepherding gift - of wanting to show people that they're not just out on their own, they are part of a bigger plan: God's plan.

HO Week 3 (9/10)

My Spiritual Gifts

[yep, I'm a little late on this one too.]

For the next couple of weeks, we are going to be talking about "calling" (as in vocation and/or spiritual gifts). We are reading Os Guinness' book Rising to the Call, and the students take a spiritual gifts assessment. This post is a response to the second part.

Dr. Gambill, the instructor, provided links to two online gift inventories. One is a bit more charismatic, and the other is designed to help people know where to plug into their church (so it only addresses what they call "Team Gifts"). I took both tests, and I have the results from the one I took last year as a freshman in the class. It's just interesting seeing how the different ones end up with slightly different results.

Last year, my top three gifts were listed as Serving, Giving, and Faith. On the first one this year, it came up with Faith, Helps (basically Serving), and Music (Pastoring was 4th). The second test was Administration, Shepherding (Pastoring), and Serving [this test had a disclaimer that lots of women get Shepherding because it's similar to nurturing instincts].

I basically agree with what these tests came up with. The last test I took had several paragraphs about each of the gifts, including some tendencies and possible pitfalls, and I certainly identified with those! Last year when I took it, I was surprised to see Faith on there...but I have come to realize that is a big part of who I am. Serving is also definitely one of the things I do a lot. I love helping other people in whatever ways I can. I love to Give other people presents to show I care about them. I'm not too surprised about Administration either. I am an organized person who likes to take charge sometimes!

The only one I'm not so sure about is Shepherding. I think the reason I feel uncertain about it is that I feel strongly that women should not have leadership over men. And yet I so often see that I have leadership tendencies! Sometimes I wonder why in the world God would give me leadership gifts and yet make me a woman. [By the way, leadership was 4th on the list from last year, 16th on the first test this year (too low I think), and I think it was basically included in Administration on the second test.] I'm coming to realize that there really are ways where I can stay true to both my belief and my gift. For example, what I'm doing this semester! My mentor group is all girls, and so I feel comfortable guiding and directing them.

[Sorry girls, I know I went way over the word limit on this one!]

HO Week 2 (9/3)

How to Impact the Culture

[It's week 2 because there wasn't a post for the first week. And yes, I am late on posting this!]

For the second week of Honors Orientation, we read the first chapter of Mark Noll's The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind. Through his book, Noll makes the case that Christians have not given themselves enough to the pursuit of intellectualism. While I strongly disagree with his categorization of creationists, I did agree with his main point and many of the things he said. It was a thought provoking chapter, and I certainly want to read the rest of the book.

Noll talks about the "life of the mind," meaning "the effort to think like a Christian—to think within a specifically Christian framework—across the whole spectrum of modern learning" (7). I am familiar with this same concept being referred to as having a Christian world view. Noll goes on to describe three areas where Christians have failed to be active participants: the areas of culture, intellect, and theology.

I see myself as most likely to impact the area of culture. Noll makes the case that Christians focus too much on “urgencies of the moment” or “over-simplification of issues” when they try to change the culture (12), and I can see his point. The reason I am studying journalism is so that I will hopefully be able to play a part in changing the culture of America. I have strong beliefs about many cultural issues, and I believe that God has given me the gift of writing well. I want to combine these two characteristics by writing as a political or cultural analyst, encouraging Christians to think about issues from a Christian world view.