Exodus Lessons

I’m reading through the Bible in a year, following the Read the Bible for Life plan. I just started last month…but with everything I’m juggling I’ve gotten behind. So when insomnia kicked in again last night/this morning, I pulled it out and read a couple day’s portions! Here is how Paraclete used it to minister to my heart…..

“I will harden Pharaoh’s heart so that he will pursue [the Israelites]. Then I will receive glory by means of Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am Yahweh.” Exodus 14:4, God speaking.

For Moses, God pretty clearly laid out His game plan. The first Passover had just occurred, the Israelites had just been brought out of Egypt through God’s mighty deliverance and by His awesome miracles overwhelming the Egyptians. But God wasn’t through yet. He wanted to show His mighty power towards the Egyptians one more time, that He may receive the glory.

Interesting that God indicates this final Exodus miracle was for the sake of the Egyptians rather than the Israelites! Possibly because the Israelites should have already known that by this point? But as we shall see….they still had more lessons to learn!

So in order to prove His own glory yet again, God told the Israelites where to go and where to camp, so that Pharaoh would think they were confused and boxed in…easy prey (14:2-3). God purposely orchestrated a stressful experience for His people—having an army of angry masters in chariots chase down a people with old & young who had barely tasted freedom yet—to prove a point.

If any human being did that, it would be considered selfishness and megalomania to the extreme. It certainly doesn’t look/feel like something a loving God would do. But in the holistic complexity of Yahweh, He—of course—had a greater plan He was working out.

“As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up and saw the Egyptians coming after them. Then the Israelites were terrified and cried out to the LORD for help.” 14:10

Definitely a very natural human response to the situation they were placed in!!! I would have been terrified too, definitely. Yet at the same time, their fear shows how young they were in the journey of trusting God. Obviously, they had not yet been made perfect in love (1 John 4:18). Neither have I. Because when stressful/painful/frustrating circumstances come up, such as having a hard time falling asleep last night, the temptation to question God is right there on the doorstep of my heart.

BUT, the Israelites chose to cry out to the Lord for help in the midst of their fear. So that was a positive point! Moses admonished them,

“Don’t be afraid. Stand firm and see the LORD’s salvation He will provide for you today; for the Egyptians you see today, you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you, you must be quiet.” 14:13-14

I can’t help but wonder if Moses had communicated to the Israelites what God had told him in 14:4… We’re not told for sure. But the next verse in the story is interesting…God kind of rebukes Moses (or possibly that’s intended for Israel) for crying out to Him—I guess because He had already told him this situation would be for His glory??

So you know the rest of that chapter of the story – as God promised, He instigated another great, miraculous deliverance. And in chapter 15, Moses and the Israelites had the right response: singing a hymn of praise to God! Note verse 13:

“You will lead the people You have redeemed with Your faithful love; You will guide them to Your holy dwelling with Your strength.”

Spot on, perfect, 100% true – the people had just been shown evidence of that 11 times! (Ten plagues in Egypt + Red Sea)

But before that chapter even finishes, after three days without water, the grumbling and uncertainty crop right back up…this time at Marah (15:22-26). Then it happens again, in the following chapter—just a few weeks after leaving Egypt—and the issue this time is food. So much so that the Israelites wish “If only we had died by the LORD’s hand in the land of Egypt…” (16:3).

And so begins the pattern which would repeat itself again…and again…and again over the next thousand years of Israelite history in which Missio Dei pursued His people, but they could never maintain a heart attitude of trust and obedience for very long.

When I was young and naïve, it was easy for me to mentally criticize those silly people who could never learn to keep on practicing what God was teaching them.

Now I’m a little older, and not quite as naïve. I’ve passed through more life experiences, and I have definitely witnessed that the questioning, rebellious, wandering heart of the Israelites is the same heart that resides in me, apart from Christ’s redemptive work.

That has been and continues to be a very humbling process for me…especially these past two years.

Honestly, among a plethora of other things, I don’t like the fact that I’ve been constantly struggling with insomnia to varying degrees for the past 10+ weeks. That in those weeks, I’ve never once slept straight through the night to be awakened by my alarm…unless I took a dose of the strong prescription medicine that made me sleep between February and July.**

BUT GOD.

As I wrote about in the conclusion of my l-o-n-g blog post last weekend, my story isn’t really about me. It’s about HIM. And yes, it can be very hard to maintain that perspective…especially if I’m not choosing to be 100% dependent and leaning on my heavenly Father.

But I hope that I am taking baby steps in that process of learning and growing…especially as God continues to lavish me with HIS grace and HIS unconditional love. I am so blessed. Blessed to be loved by and to serve a God who works for His glory 100% of the time, but who also works out ALL THINGS for the good of me and each of His people 100% of the time. And when my mind focuses on the wonder of His beautiful Truth, I give thanks—that He is the Only Perfect One, awesomely good at doing both. I certainly could never do that. So obviously I need to stop trying to play God!

I’m still very much on this journey. Please join me in continuing to pray for me in the ups and downs of this beautifully challenging transitional season. Most of all, that I would be content to give HIM all the praise & glory!!

**During my health roller coaster over the past nine months since insomnia forcefully pushed its way into my life, I’ve been amazed again and again and again at how God has created us as such complex beings…physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. There are so many different approaches to dealing with health issues, and I’m kind of muddling my way through it. I have trusted mentors in my life advising very different things. And no, I haven’t prayed about it nearly as much as I should have….because, like the Israelites, I’m afraid.

I’m not going to spell it all out here. And honestly, I’m looking for prayers a whole lot more than advice. Suffice it to say, I am amazed at the courage of the woman in Luke 8:43-48 for holding onto hope for 12 years of suffering without a solution.

In my case, I have probably spent more money on health these past months than my parents ever spent on other medical issues for me during the rest of my life (not counting orthodontia as a medical issue). Medical doctors have run a wide variety of tests and haven’t come up with a biological reason for my insomnia. I’ve seen two psychiatrists and a counselor and am now part of an accountability group, trying to find answers from the mental/emotional/spiritual side, as depression & insomnia manifested their ugliness together for me. I’ve gone the prescription medication route. I’m trying the natural/homeopathic route. So far, there has been no easy solution.

When I came out to Portland, I procrastinated finding someone here to help manage my medication, because I had a long supply & was doing well. God used a rough week as a catalyst to get me back on track trying to find a road to healing. I’m thankful to have an appointment with a Christian psychiatric nurse who is qualified to manage my medication and who also, by God’s perfect plan, has experience with treating insomnia & hormonal imbalances. Unfortunately, the soonest I could get in to see her is Nov. 15^th. And so I wait, learning to practice trusting God in the meantime. It’s been a hard road, but HE IS FAITHFUL—ALWAYS.

Thank you to everyone who I know cares & prays for me!!! I literally couldn’t have made it through this year without God using you in my life as His tools to encourage & uphold me in my weakness. I share my journey with you for HIS glory (2 Cor. 4, especially vs. 6-8).