Jan. 16 CQI - Methods of spiritual formation (Mul. Prologue-Ch. 2)

Claim 1: Mulholland is already making me uncomfortable even before I get to the first chapter. Not because I don’t agree with what he is saying, but because I can see the truth of it—Truth that would be easier to ignore. In the prologue and later in chapter 2, Mulholland points out that we as humans like to be the ones in charge of our lives, including our spiritual formation. We see it as a “static possession,” attainable by “the acquisition of information techniques” (pg. 12). We seek to control everything about it – when we can “set the limits on its pace and its direction” we don’t mind it too much – but being willing to hand that control completely over to God is outside of our comfort zone (pg. 26). As Mulholland says, “The hidden premise behind all of this is the unquestioned assumption that we alone are in control of our spirituality” (pg. 12). Even though my head knows to instantly fire back “that’s not true!” it is still how I have tended to live my life.

Claim 2: Later, Mulholland makes another point that I hadn’t necessarily thought much about before. He points out that “the process of spiritual shaping is a primal reality of human existence” (pg. 23). That means that even unbelievers are practicing spiritual formation. This makes sense, but it’s just not something we think about much. We always view spiritual formation as moving toward God, and something Christians do. But Mulholland’s right – there’s the other side of it. As Christ said, “Whoever is not with Me is against Me” (Matt. 12:30). There is no middle ground of spirituality. We’re going forward or backward on the road of life.

Question 1: In chapter 1, Mulholland discusses the fact that God often works in ways we cannot see – that even what we believe are the dry times of our lives are actually fields of preparation for a spiritual “quantum leap,” that God’s grace is steadily performing His will within us (pg. 22). I can certainly see evidence of that in my life. During high school and the first three semesters of college, my relationship with God felt very dry and dark. In the past two years, however, He has blessed me with the ability to see and feel Him at work in me. But the question I thought of while reading this section was not a very fun one. Am I willing to go through another dry spell if that is part of God’s plan for me? I’ve been in a honeymoon stage for a long time—not constant of course, but underlying none the less. It feels as though I could never go back to that dark place. But what if that’s what God required at some point to continue His sanctifying process in my life? Would I accept that?

Question 2: The other similar question I had related to Mulholland’s discussion of Jesus’ temptation, and how our culture places so much value on what we do rather than the “quality of our being” (pg. 28). As a senior, I’m almost constantly bombarded with that horrid question, “So what are you going to do when you graduate?” God’s been bringing me on a journey to where I am ok with not knowing right now. I do know that I belong to Him and that He’ll guide me. I guess the question is just more of a prayer. Will I continue to be willing to accept the fact that what God has for me may look completely different than what the world sees as success? I have often focused on what I do as the measure for how I feel about myself. How can I make choices which put my personal primary emphasis back on who Christ is making me to be instead?

Insight 1: Back in chapter 1, Mulholland discussed the way that people practically speaking try to be in charge of their own spirituality. He talked about trying to “create the atmosphere for the ‘right’ spiritual moment” (pg. 20) or trying to look back to a growth spurt and “reproduce the setting” to repeat the feeling (pg. 21). Over the past couple of years I’ve come to dislike “mountain top experiences,” I think for a similar reason. While I always appreciate the mountaintop when I’m there, it’s always more of an emptiness when it ends – a letdown. Life can’t be made of all high points. We can’t always be in a spiritual euphoria. Like Moses, we have to come down off of the mountain top. And then, if that amazing experience is going to actually mean anything, we have to make choices in our everyday life which are consistent with the lessons we learned up higher. It’s not easy…